The other day someone asked me why I was going to make the pilgrimage to the Basilica to show my love for my faith. For context, in Mexico it's customary to make this pilgrimage every year as an act of faith, devotion, and conversion to seek an encounter with God. When they asked, they argued that suffering is not a way to show love, saying that God doesn't want us to suffer. That left me thinking for a long while as I walked the route.
I think that's a somewhat foolish way to see it. It might seem smart to not want to suffer, but when it comes to love, that logic doesn't apply. After thinking it over, I came to the conclusion that suffering is the most valid and truest way you can show love.
Imagine a marathon runner. Running 42 kilometers is no easy feat, and not even the best marathoner in the world will tell you they don't suffer through it. So why do they do it? Why do they want to suffer? What's the point? But in the end they do it, and they repeat it every year. There are even people who cover more than that every single day: they get up and walk enormous distances to feed their families. Why do they do it? To put food on the table for their loved ones. And why do they feed them? Simply, out of love.
But going back to the marathoner, why do they do it? If they didn't, they'd still be happy. They don't have to feed a family, or maybe they do, but if you go and ask them why they're running, it's to prove something to themselves. It's to show themselves self-love. Unconsciously, we suffer in order to love ourselves, because it's the only true, unmasked way to show love.
Love is a decision, not a roller coaster of emotions with its highs and lows. It's a decision to want to be there and to act, even when you don't want to be there or act, for the simple fact that you love that person. I don't want to suffer, but I'm going to suffer because I love myself. So every day I wake up early to exercise, and I do it well, I do it through the pain, because in the end I know that act of suffering for myself was something pure and true, without masks. People unconsciously suffer to show love, and that's what makes us happy.
Love is a decision, and the truest decisions, the ones that are for our own good, are the most costly to make. Because the truth hurts, the truth is heavy. But that weight isn't generated by the truth, it's not inherent to it. We place that weight there because we don't want to accept it. And we don't want to accept it because we don't love ourselves. And because we don't love ourselves, we don't suffer. But by not suffering, the truth weighs on us.